Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bugs

While at a friend's parents house on Sunday, I decided to take a walk with a few of the family members. This house is located on a mini-farm. It has about 16 acres and I wanted to do some exploring of the property. At one point I sat on a hay wagon that gave me a view of the natural spring on the property. I wanted to take a moment and take the beautiful view of the property in. To get to the wagon I had to cross a 3 foot section of tall weeds/grass. As I crossed this section to reach the wagon there didn't seem to be any bugs around me. As you know, often times our perception and reality does not always match up. After sitting on the wagon taking in the scenery and the view that overlooked a natural spring, the bugs started emerging on the grass below me. It was a sight to see, they were going about their business moving to and fro on the leaves and stems on the ground beneath me. It was something I enjoyed watching. I sat on the wagon for about 5 minutes just watching these bugs and something occurred to me, this is kind of like how God is, actually how we are with God.


There are times we are so busy with our lives and what is going around us to see God working in everything we are going through. This causes our perception to not align with reality. Sometimes we just need to sit on wagon for a while and take everything in.




I know you are probably wondering what bugs I was observing. It is called the Multicolored Asian Ladybug, better know as the Orange Ladybug. The interesting thing about the Orange Ladybug is that many people consider it a pest and many consider it a friend. What category do you fall into?

Sunday, October 02, 2011

Brothers, Sisters, and Friendship

It's hard to believe that it is already October. I mean, really? Where did this year go? As crappy as it has been at times it has flown by. Life is moving right along for me. I am looking forward to having the kids in 2 weeks for a full week. They have a fall break at their school. Jude has already mentioned who he wants to see while he is back in Ohio. Not sure we will be able to see everyone but I will certainly try. I have some plans for them while they are up here. I would like to have a nice picture taken of us. I don't really have a family portrait so that is on my list of things to do and also we will be heading to my mom's house the 2nd weekend they are here. I doubt I will see them much since they will be off in the woods with their cousins.

I was talking to someone about friends and friendship the other day. I couldn't remember the verse I wanted to share about friends but after some searching I finally found what I was looking for.

"Friends come and friends go, but a true friend sticks by you like family." Proverbs 18:24 The Message.

We were talking about her and her one friend that has become like a sister to her. I said she was lucky to have a friend like that since in life it doesn't happen very often. I have had friends come and go in my life. And for whatever reason I have lost touch with them over the years. Of course it doesn't help to move to Texas for a couple of years and then back to Ohio. I think the distance didn't help with keeping in touch with friends in Ohio or the new one's I made while in Texas. I have never been one to have a bunch a friends at one time. In high school I tended to hang out with a few people at a time. This scenario has followed me into adulthood. I have been pretty content to go about life my own way. There have, however, been times that I have felt pretty lonely. Looking back those are the times I probably wasn't very close to God

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Dawn

It's hard to believe that it has been 2 weeks since the kids made the transition to TN. I think they have adjusted well to their school and new routine. Jude, Elise and Avery all seem to like there school and going to the Boys and Girls Club afterwards. I have adjusted to my new routine of not going to there mom's house and taking them to school or bringing them back to my house in the morning if they didn't have school that day. I can confidently say that the sun is starting to rise on a new day for me.

I have been diving in a little deeper with my devotions and prayer life while trying to rely on God to get me through this transition. It is working. No matter how I hated and how I think this transition is hard, He has gotten me through it. God does provide in His own time. Thankfully is not in our time that we think it should be done. Like I said, I have been starting to dive in a little deeper with quiet time and all. I probably should begin to journal my thoughts so that I am able to go back and reflect on them in the future.



Monday, September 05, 2011

Hard Ball

While in high school I loved playing sports, it didn't really matter what sport it was, I loved it. While at Central I played baseball and then during the summer breaks and after I graduated I loved to play softball. During my senior year, the last season I played baseball, I recall the first game of the season. I was the lead off batter, it was the bottom of the 1st inning (we were playing at home), I hit a triple, it probably would have been a home-run if we had a fence up. I was very aggressive with my first at bat, the remainder of the season I was not nearly as aggressive. I drew a lot of walks, I was looking for the perfect pitch to hit. The perfect pitch never came.

I was married a little over 9 years, during the 9 years of marriage I did some great things, I hit the ball out of the park, but there were times I completely whiffed, actually whiffed multiple times in a row. I am a very emotional guy and there were times I allowed my emotions to control my actions and reactions. I said very terrible things and did very terrible things. I broke stuff and threw stuff. Like I said I did and said terrible things. Things I wish I could take back, wish I could go back in the past and react differently. I had an emotional affair. The "relationship" started out honestly as a friendship, I was trying to be a friend and be supportive. But none-the-less it took my attention away from the important relationship of my wife. Delilah, I am so very sorry for wronging you during our marriage and wish there was a way for me to change everything for the future, but I guess our divorce stopped that process.

I am a Christian, I am a guy. But does this mean that I am a good Christian guy? Not necessarily. I am not a believer of good Christian's or bad Christian's. I believe that you are a Christian regardless. There are times that I fall and fail in my actions. I am not perfect and never said that I was. I do my best.

Tomorrow starts a new life for me. The kids will be in TN and it will be the first weekday morning that I don't go over to there house and help get them ready for school and then take them to school. It will be a huge adjustment for me.

Like I said in an earlier post, I am excited about the opportunity Delilah has with her new position, not so excited about the kids living away from me.

So, tomorrow in deed starts a new life for me whether I want it or not.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

The River

Have you ever sat and watched a river? I mean, just sat and watched the river, the intricacies of it, the ebb and flow of the river. I love watching the water flow past me as I sit on the river bank. I become mesmerized with the water. I often find that it is interesting to look beyond the water surface; to look at the rocks beneath the surface, the trees dipping their branches into the water, logs upstream from the spot you are perched at. Each item causes the river to have a swirl here, bubbles to form their, a ripple over there, or a rapid near by. No matter the object that is placed in the water there is a cause and an effect to it. No matter the effect though, the water must continue to flow. If it were to stop flowing it would no longer be a river.

My life is a river. It continues to flow regardless of the objects that are placed in it. If my life were to quit flowing, well, that wouldn't be good, now would it? Life is a river, it must continue flowing. Sometimes it can be turbulent like the white water rapids of the Arkansas River in Colorado or times and can be easy flowing like the might Mississippi River or any where in between. Regardless of the phase your life river is in, go with it and learn from it and take it with you into the future.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Predawn

I have had a wonderful weekend with my 3 children this weekend. Saturday I spent most of the time over at their mom's house because she is packing and sorting through things and she need some assistance going through things and moving boxes. It was kind of weird because she had her 2 closer friends and her sister there. At one point I mentioned to Heather, "Why am I here helping my ex-wife? I either must be crazy or still in love with her." She replied, "Or, a little of both." I think it was pretty accurate.

Back to the kids. I always try to do a little something with each one individually. Yesterday I focused on Elise. We went on a bike ride through town. It probably ended up being about 3 miles when it was said and done. We weaved our way down to the Riverfront, over to Portage Trail, and then back to the High Glens Park on the river. While riding beside her, I couldn't be more proud of her. She is growing up so fast and has become a great little girl.

Today I took the kids to an Akron Aero's game. We were in the 2nd row one section from the dugout and behind the screen. Jude has been wanting to go for a while so we finally made it. I found out today they the Aero's has a kid's club and kids under 12 get free tickets to every Sunday game. I wish I would have known that at the beginning of the season. Not that it overly expensive to go to a game, but saving money is saving money. The Aero's won and it was a beautiful day for an afternoon game. We even experienced a few sprinkles.

The kids will be at my house every night this week while Delilah finishes packing up the house. She mentioned something about it is just easier with out the kids making more of a mess. I'm not sure meant by that. lol The kids are really excited about moving. I am sad about them moving. I wish it didn't have to be this way.

For the short-term I will be living in the Akron area, I am hoping that I can continue working my job from home in WV. I haven't received the official ok for it yet, but I am told that once the work from home pilot is deemed a success it will be one of the first things to be discussed.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Changes

It is hard to believe that summer is winding down, and school starts for the the kids this week. Jude is entering the 3rd grade, he is growing up so fast. Elise is entering the 1st grade and Avery is still in pre-school. Next year they will be in the same school. I'm sure that will be interesting.

I didn't really want to talk about my kids in this post. Don't get me wrong, now. I love my kids and I love talking about my kids. I just didn't want to start a post with a BAM!!!

Delilah has accepted a position in Tennessee doing what she loves, social work. It is a great opportunity for her. It will give her the opportunity to move up in her field and also she will be able to start her Master's in Social Work, and according to the information I have it will be paid for by her employer. It really is a great opportunity for her.......

I have been forced to make a gut wrenching decision, one that I didn't want to have to make. At first, as recently as 2 weeks ago, I was adamantly apposed to having my children move 8 hours away from me. Early last week I opened myself to the idea of it and on Friday Delilah and I had our expectations written out. But, something changed over the weekend for me. I started to have 2nd thoughts about it. After all they are my children and I love them. Yesterday and today was a very tough day for both of us. I spoke with my attorney today and gained some insight on the process and I talked to my mom a lot about my choices. I prayed, thought, prayed and finally made a decision.

I was looking at two options I could make. The first option, would have gone through the court in determining what was in the best interest of the kids. This would have forced Delilah to move to TN without the kids and the kids would have lived with me until a court decision was made. This would have been a great option for me personally. The second option was to take myself out of the equation and focus only on the kids and their future in relation to Delilah. I choose the second option. The kids will be moving with her over Labor Day weekend to Tennessee.

So, BAM!!! There you have it. Like I said earlier this is not a choice I wanted to make. In all I do I try to put the kids first. Just thinking about being 8 hours away from my kids brings tears to my eyes.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Thinking it's time to change my blog name...

I started this post on August 28, 2010. This is what was written... "The last 9 months let alone the last month and a half has been nothing but a haze. It is time that I change the name of my blog. I am no longer a stay at home dad. I started working at Allstate last November in an inbound call center environment speaking with mostly agents. For those of you that know me, you know that I'm not much for words and are probably thinking why in the world am I working in a call center environment. Well, that is a valid question to ask, one that I really don't have an answer to give. I do enjoy my job for the most part, I do have days where I have to ask my self what in the world was I thinking to take this job. I don't think that thought it uncommon to most people in whatever position they have. In June I started handling payment and billing calls from customers during particular days in the week. It has been a transition. I think I actually enjoy taking calls from customers more so than from the agents. It seems like I am making more of a difference directly with the customer. I really think it should be mandatory for everyone to take a basic insurance class. It could be called Insurance 101. "




Now I need to restart this post with.....


The last 12 months have been such a haze. I loss my dad and am now divorced. They say that going through a divorce it like losing a loved one. It is so true. So if you are keeping track, I have experienced 2 deaths in the last 12 months.


I miss my dad terribly and I really don't think there has been day that has passed that I have not thought about him. I am often reminded about his favorite Bible verse, James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Friday, July 30, 2010

In honor of my dad.....

I have decided to re-post some of my dad's blog post when he was blogging for a short while back in 2006. Hope you enjoy........

Monday, February 27, 2006

A New Life

Our firm decision is to work from this focused center: One man died for everyone. That puts everyone in the same boat. He included everyone in his death so that everyone could also be included in his life, a resurrection life, a far better life than people ever lived on their own.
Because of this decision we don’t evaluate people by what they have or how they look. We looked at the Messiah that way once and got it all wrong, as you know. We certainly don’t look at him that way anymore. Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new. The old life is gone; a new life burgeons!

2 Cor 5


Place Your Life Before God

So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.

Romans 12

Content Whatever the Circumstances

I’m glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you’re again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don’t have a sense of needing anything personally. I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. I don’t mean that your help didn’t mean a lot to me—it did. It was a beautiful thing that you came alongside me in my troubles.

Philippians 4

But let me tell you something wonderful, a mystery I’ll probably never fully understand. We’re not all going to die—but we are all going to be changed. You hear a blast to end all blasts from a trumpet, and in the time that you look up and blink your eyes—it’s over. On signal from that trumpet from heaven, the dead will be up and out of their graves, beyond the reach of death, never to die again. At the same moment and in the same way, we’ll all be changed.


I stumbled across this scripture this morning. It was something I used in a lesson or sermon previously. Just thought I’d share it. God’s word is full of such good stuff!

I was actually looking for an article that I’d written previously about taking risks that I wanted to share with Jake after our discussion yesterday, but sometime in a time of “giving up” on youth ministry, I deleted almost all the lesson’s, sermons, newsletter articles, etc that I had previously done. Does that mean I’m not to get involved in youth ministry again or perhaps, if I do, I can’t use my old stuff again.
posted by Papaw | 6:58 AM | 3 comments links to this post


Friday, February 17, 2006

I STOLE

This evening, while eating dinner with four of the grandkids, they started talking about wanting to go out to eat (and the Miller weakness continues). They decided they wanted to go to The Texas Roadhouse and eat steak. Little Lydia, wanting to be one of the big kids, echoed saying, “I want to go eat at Texas Roadhouse.” When I asked her if she had money to pay for it (trying to teach her to be financially responsible, thus breaking the cycle of irresponsible spending), she replied saying she had lots of money. When I asked her how much she had, she repeated “lot’s of it; I stole it from mommy.” Oops! She continued to inform me that mommy knows. She also informed me that her piggy bank had lots of pennies and is real heavy.

She is a true Miller; wants to spend all her money “eating out”.


Thursday, February 16, 2006

WHY?

Today as I was working outside of Steph’s house I heard “Kellen Timothy”. That translates into “this is really serious” or “you are in big trouble”. A little later I heard “Lydia Renea”. I started wondering why parents address their children by their first and middle name when they want to get their attention. Linda and I did the same with our children. Jason Paul! Stephanie Lynn! I guess we were lucky that Eric is deaf; I find saying Eric Bartholomew to be sort of awkward.

I really got confused a little later when I heard “Nolan Miller”. I couldn’t figure out why they would refer to him by his first and last name. Oh this must be really serious, I thought. Then I remembered that “Miller” is his middle name. Later I talked to Steph about this and she asked me how our parents addressed us when they got serious since none of us 9 kids have middle names. Traditionally Amish do not give their children middle names; instead they are given the first letter of the fathers name as their middle initial. Thus, all of us have “M” for our middle initial. It helps keep track of who you belong to. Steph wondered if they referred to me as “Paul M” when I got into trouble.
Since I never got into trouble, I do not know. Hypothetically speaking, if I would have gotten into trouble they probably would not have referred to me as “Paul M”; instead they would have used the rod (aka leather strap) to get my attention.

Since Linda’s parents always called her “Linda Sue”, I was wondering what they did when she got in trouble. Did they add her last name? Nancy, do you remember? Oh course she will tell you she never got into trouble. Was that because she was the spoiled one and could no harm?

So, why is it that people address their children with their first and middle name when they are in trouble? Do most people do this or is this unique to people we know? I’d love to hear your theories.

posted by Papaw | 8:55 PM | 6 comments links to this post

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

NOLAN ATTACK

Last evening Tim stopped in to let me know that the water tank was empty. While he was here he called Steph to ask her not to use any more water. If the lines get emptied out I have to purge them-a job I don't cherish. Kellen answered the phone and informed his dad that mom couldn't come to the phone because she was cleaning up a Nolan attack. What a kid! He has to be in your sight constantly or he will be into something he shouldn't be. I hope Steph and Tim share some of the stories.

Got me to thinkin'. Nolan sounds a lot like someone else I know; his mother. It must be genetic. Looking back I wish we would have kept a journal of what happened at our house as the kids were growing up. What great material that would be to have now as they are raising kids. This morning I'd like to share a few things I remember about Steph aka Poohder. She was a great kid! Well, as new born she had colic real bad and cried constantly, but that was solved by giving her a drop of whisky in some water (doctors orders-we had exhuasted all other methods). It sounded like a volcanic eruption taking place as the stomach rumbled and then the explosions as the gas exited her body. Oh what peace!

Steph was always full of life; always happy; very excitable; always checking everything out. Sound a lot like Nolan? There was one notable difference between the two. Nolan is great about going to bed-he will even let you know he wants to go to bed. Not Steph. Bed time was anything but pleasurable (we think that she was afraid she would miss out on something). When we put Steph to bed, she would scream, throw her bottle, shake her bed. I still feel guilty about the the time I gave her a swat while she was throwing a fit (she probably didn't even feel it through the diaper). As I recall, bed time was much easier after that. Steph was daddy's little girl. I used to take her with me in the pick up truck, she sitting on my lap helping me drive. How irresponsible! People go to jail for that now, but back then it was not abnormal.

Steph had a playmate, about her age, while we lived in Goshen. What Steph didn't think of doing, her friend Shawn did. One day, I found them sitting in the ditch in front of our house making mud pies with the lawn mower gas. Another time, they got into a can of paint and had painted the side of the camper and the end of the house. I'll swear it couldn't have taken them more than 5 minutes to do this. What a mess, covered in paint head to toe. Strip off their clothes, as I fill the bath tub with water. Threaten there lives if they move out of the bath tub while I run back out and wash the paint off before it dries. Good kids, they were still in the tub when I came back in. Steph listened well until she got to be a teenager-by then she thought she knew more than her parents (maybe did).

Another time, Shawn and Steph were digging for treasure in the neighbors burn barrel; yuck. On another occasion wheh I was watching them, they got into the flour and made it "snow" inside the house. Everything was covered with flour. It was actually pretty funny, but I didn't see the humor at the time. They were so cute; they had covered each other with flour. Again, I threw them in the bathtub and ordered them to stay while I attempted to clean up most of the mess before Linda got home.

Those two were the busiest kids! In fact they were so busy, they didn't have time to come inside to go to the bathroom. When they needed to go they simply dropped their drawers wherever they were, went to the the bathroom and kept on playing (without putting their clothes back on). Heredity? Steph's kids love to go to the bathroom outside too. They keep their clothes on!


Monday, February 13, 2006

That doesn't make sense!

I wish I would have started recording all the neat things I've heard from the mouth's of kids. Lydia (4 years old) decided a long time ago that she wasn't a "little" girl anymore. Yesterday, when I referred to her as "big, little" girl, she promptly informed me; "Papaw that doesn't make sense, I'm a big girl. I can't be a little girl."

Lydia is quick to stand her ground. Good thing, otherwise big brother would have run all over her. Do find it sorta interesting that little brother can terrorize her, although she is learning to deal with him too. Last night, when Kellen and Lydia spent the night, she wanted to watch a movie (they like to watch tv a lot here), Kellen told her she couldn't. Immediatedly, (before I got a chance to remind Kellen that it wasn't his call) Lydia, gets into his face, pointing and shaking her finger about 3 inches from his nose and tells him: "Kellen, you are bossing me and you are not allowed!"

Where do your kids learn all this Steph?

The other day we got into a discussion about yelling with Kellen. He informed me that it is appropriate for parents to yell at kids but it is not ok for kids to yell at anyone. When I asked him why, he said that parents need to yell at their kids to make them listen. Smart kid!!!!!!!! He never yells at anyone, does he?

Linda and I were talking about taking care of kids. We took care of other people's kids for nearly 20 years. She says she doesn't miss it at all and would never want to do it again. I'll have to admit that I do miss working with teens. but enjoy having less stress. I'll take having the grand kids here any day verses having someone elses kids.

Should I go to work? It has been nice working around here and there is still (and always will be) enough work to keep me busy. Unfortunately, we are more broke than we have been in years, so I might need to get a job. I have an interview for a family support specialist in Lincoln county tommorrow. We'll see what happens.


Thursday, February 09, 2006

A NEW LANGUAGE

The other day Linda's supervisor complemented her on her beautiful accent. We never realized we had and accent but we have realized that people talk a lot differently here. At first Stephanie about had a coronary when the kids started using the local language. She thinks it makes them sound ignorant (another misconception about the moutain people). We have been learnin' the local language. Linda works in Hurricane which is pronounced "hurikin". Chris and Amy got a kick out of her when she kept talking about the Florida hurikins. John (our neighbor) told me he was going to Arnten (Ironton). Charleston is in Kanawha county (pronounced kanaw). Kellen and Lydia love pahy (pie). Kellen loves to take Pac (his dog) for a walk down the hollar (hollow).

If you head south of here it gets even more interesting. We are told that each hollar can have their own dialect. Linda has a tough time understanding some of the customers that call in, esp. from eastern Ky which is next to us just across the river a piece.

Maybe Linda will share some technical terminolgy with you she has had to learn. I can share a few. When I told her I had to reboot she thought I had to put my boots back on to go to outhouse. A mouse is what Steph found in Lydia's closet.

Ya'all keep in touch now ya'hear!


Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Power from within

Delilah's post on men and women being friends got me thinking. I'd like to share some thoughts and experiences. Allow me to share a little background.

I was raised Amish. In the Amish culture, and particularily in my family, wives were expected to be "submitted" to the husband. Interestingly, we didn't hear about the husband's responsibility in marriage. Generally in the Amish culture, activities are segregated by sex. In church women sit on one side and men on the other. This holds true to vitually every social gathering. In general, Amish women are regarded as subjects of the husbands. (Maybe this is a better system; divorce is virtually unheard of among the Amish.) I believe that growing up this way gave me an unhealthy view of women.

Being involved in youth ministry for the last 20 years has exposed me to a wide variety of opinions regarding relationships between male and females. One of the more interesting experiences involved being given material to use for a sex education class for teenagers. I was told that this biblically based course "was a must". When I recieved the material, I was so amazed I couldn't put it down. Some of the information contained in this biblically based material:

1. Sex between consenting adults (married or unmarried) was ok as long the spouses were not hurt in the process.

2. Teenagers should be sure they are ready before they have sex.

3. Teens should consider planning in advance for birth control, but in the event they got pregnant they should consider abortion for the good of the child and society. (we already have to many economically deprived people in our culture)

4. Abortion for adults is ok for economic reasons.

5. Same gender sex is ok and normal. It is the way God made us!

This material was curriculum offered by a mainline church and touted as biblically based!

I have worked with or known people involved in youth ministries with some of the following ideas:

1. Males and females should stay separated in all or part of the activities.

2. Males should lead males; females should lead females.

3. Male leaders should never have any physcial contact (touch) with females.

4. You should have physical contact with member of the opposite sex.


We grew up in the middle of the social revolution (60's and 70's); we rebelled against everything and believed that if it feels good (and it doesn't hurt anyone else) do it!!!!!!!!! We regretted we couldn't attend Woodstock but when the movie came out we watched it 2 times in a row. How cool! Free unhibited sex! drugs! People being and doing what they "felt" like. People died? But they died having so much fun!


The culture in which we live also gives a very twisted view of male/female relationships. Watch the commercials. How many have sexual overtones? Wonder why we view members of the opposite sex as sex objects? How about movies and music? Love is equated with sex. Our culture has no clue what Godly love is.

Did Jesus teach us to stay separate from members of the opposite sex? Did he avoid contact with women? Doesn't the bible say something abut us being equal in the Kingdom?

Given all the influences of our culture, upbringing, hormones, etc. How can we have healthy relationships?

Let me share the lesson God taught me. Over the years I tended to view women as sexual objects. When I met or saw a women my mind would wander to the sexual aspect.
As I strove to "be Christ-like", I became frustrated. No matter how hard I tried, how much I prayed, I would still go there. Maybe not as much but I still did at times. Finally, I came to the realization that I couldn't stop this thought pattern. I can't, but thank God, the holy spirit can! It is all about dying to our human nature and allowing Christ to take over that we get transformed.

Put another way, "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength". When this happens then we can love our neighbors in a Godly manner, too. Without the relationship with the Father, we will surely fail. In the Kingdom, we are brothers and sisters and as such we need to love one another. I do not beleive that loving one another means that we keep avoiding each other.

Do I continue to struggle with lust? I find that my struggle with lust is directly related to my walk with the Lord. When I'm really close to Him, it never occurs, when I want to live on my own strength (which we Millers do a lot, it comes back. Read Paul's discussion on sin in Romans 7 and 8.

How do you grow in your love for God? I'd love to hear your coments.


Sunday, February 05, 2006

My favorite place to live

While sitting in the dentist chair, waiting for my gums to numb in order to do the root canal last week, the dentist, his assistant and I were talking. They became aware that we were transplants to West Virginia. It turned out that they weren't mountain people either and they have experienced the same response from people that we have about moving here. Local people are amazed that people actually move here. We've often heard that people don't move here but many move away from here. Statistics show that Huntington has experienced about a 50% decrease in population in the past 25 years. As Delilah has commented in previous blogs, we Millers are a little different so it sohould be no surprise that we moved here.

Speaking of moving, we have moved a lot. I believe we moved about 11 times by the time Stephanie was in 10th grade. If I remember correctly, we have moved 17 times (nearly every 2 years since we have been married). I think we lived in one place 12 years (Fredericksburg). I wonder why our friends no longer help us move? We have 2 more moves to make. The next move (if we get the house built) will be down the lane to the "skinny ridge", which is about 1000 feet. The last move will be to our graves. There is a possibility that there could be another move when we no longer can take care of ourselves and we move in with the kids. Which one of you lucky guys will get the blessing? If you don't wish to take us in then our request is to just let us be until we die. NO NURSING HOMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you have no intention of taking us in, let us know in advance and perhaps I can take a solo journey up one of these hollars (old native american tradition).

The dentists assistant asked me of all the places we have lived which has been my favorite. I hadn't really thought about that before but it didn't take much thinking before I could inform her that it is where we are now. I love it here! Why?

The very first reason has to be the people! First of all living back in the boonies with your family is one of the greatest blessings in the world. Having those neat, mischievious grandkids across the lane is wonderful. Having them "help" you is generally a lot of fun. I only regret I didn't take more time to do more projects with our own kids. There is something real special about these mountain people we live among that I have admired for years. They take time to talk! Over the years that I've brought youth to West Virginia, I've had experieces where they have gone out of their way to help us out. On one occasion when we had a vehicle break down they transported us to our destination: another time we were invited to come spend the night and they offered us breakfeast (to 13 dirty, smelly backpackers) These were complete strangers coming forward showing us Christ's love. We couldn't have better neighbors-they are always offering help. I find this very typical of most people here.

These mountain people don't have much money (we fit right in). West Virginia is the second poorest state in the nation, the second most obese state, has the highest coronary disease rate and yet,has the some of the best people in the world.

Another reason I like West Virginia is its beauty! The slogan "almost heaven" is a good description. Living back a long lane, in the woods, overlooking some fantastics hollars-how could you beat it?

At some later time I'll try to add more. I'm really learning to appreciate the culture of the mountain people. I'll even share a few things I don't like about West Virginia (there aren't many).


Friday, February 03, 2006

FOOD FOR THOUGHT; wheaties for lunch

Yesterday Linda came to let me know the alfredo was almost done for lunch. My immediate reactions was "yuck, I can't eat it". I was thinking I could use the excuse that I wouldn't be able to eat it since I just had a root canal done in the morning, but (reading my mind) she promptly informed me that I could. I gave in (as I always do) and ate it. Wow, it was delicious! I think I ate 3 servings. Why my reaction? I thought of that awfull, instant, dried-out alfredo we ate while backpacking. Well this got me to thinking about eating habits and expectations or preconceptions. If you know me there is hardly any food that I don't like. I'm sure this is mostly due to being required to eat some of everything that was cooked when I was a child.

Not only were we required to eat some of everything but we always had to eat everything that was on our plate. I think I really believed that if I didn't eat the food some poor child in India was going to die of starvation. It didn't take me long to figure out that it was best to eat it even if I hurt afterwards. One morning I couldn't eat me wheaties, so my mom put them in a quart jar and put the spring house and I had to eat them for lunch! Yuck! I probably developed some poor eating habits as a result of this rule and I believe it is better to not force kids to continue eating if they are full. I can't remember if we forced you kids to eat everything or not. if we did please accept my sincerest apology! It is true that we usually raise our kids a lot the way we were raised. When I watch our children parent their kids, I realize that they have picked up a lot of our parenting styles (they do a much better job than we did).

Speaking of Food (I know you kids get tired of hearing this):

I can still remember my first ice cream cone;

I never knew what pizza was until I was 16; my sister (Sarah) and I decided to check it out. We went to a pizza shop and each ordered a pizza. The waitress asked us if it "was to go?" We said no. We were surprised when they served them to us. Not wanting to admit that we were ignorant, we sat there and ate them both. I have to thank my parents for training me to finish my food.

This training paid off again when I was challenged to eating a gallon of ice cream. (I have learned to be more specific when I accept challanges now.) The gallon of home made ice cream was presented to me after I had eaten a large dinner of steak and mashed potatoes. I've never been one for accepting defeat, so i ate it! It took a while and I hurt so bad that night that I couldn't sleep.

So, if you are requiring your kids to eat everything, there are benefits!


Thursday, February 02, 2006

Consider it pure joy?

One of the most intriguing verses in the bible comes from James chapter one verse 2 "consider it pure joy when you face trials of many kinds.......". While I understand the concept and know that it is through these trials that I've grown the most, I seldom consider it "joy" while I'm enduring them. While there are times that I experience peace beyond understanding in tough times, mostly I'm miserable. Why are we not experiencing joy during tough times? Is it a lack of faith? Are we separated from God?

Last weeks visit to Florida got me pondering these questions again. Our reason to go to Florida was to see Dr. Chris and Miss Amy (proper terminology for the south). I mentioned in yesterdays post that we saw Aunt Polly also (I believe divinely appointed.) Dr. Chris and Miss Amy are some of the most wonderful people we've ever met. We worked with them at SC where we each had a home of troubled teenagers (poor term; should refer to them as off spring of screwed up parents). We didn't have a lot of contact with them during those 3 years we worked together but we always knew they were "special". We moved to Florida to work in a group home and they soon followed. We left 5 months after they came. During those 5 months we lived next door to each other and interacted with each other constantly. Christ lives in these people. We both endured extreme emotional abuse from our "christian" administrators.
I will not go into details because I don't think it would serve any purpose. We talked about the abuse Jesus endured and how he took it willing and realized that what we were going through was nothing compared to what he endured and we would get peace for a season but then we would get our feelings hurt again. We just couldn't let go and allow God to control.

We left the group home in Florida; Dr. Chris and Miss Amy stayed. They believed so strongly in the mission of the home (as we still do). They've worked so hard, doing much of the administrators work; reaching out and trying to minister to them. They've sacrificed financially; worked without any pay for long periods of time. They've had the great privilidge of seeing children and families totally changed by the Lord in spite of the the chaos with management. That was another highlight of our trip. We visited the home of twin boys we had in our home. Praise God for a changed home!

The stress of the situation is taking its toll. Both are having health problems. They are tired. I am angry! Why do "christian" bosses do this to their employees? We went to work for a Jew-one of the most "christ-like" people I've ever worked for. Barna points out that there is virtually no difference in the actions of "born again" christians in the US and their counterparts. This should not be! If we are "born again" should there not be a new life? It all starts with you and me. Do we love the Lord with all our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves? Otherwise, I'm afraid we are "pretenders". I'm talking to me!

Dr. Chris and Miss Amy are not experiencing much joy now. Is it a lack of faith? Is God telling them to move on? They have been offered other employment but feel committed to the children in their home and trapped with the whole health insurance situation with changing employment. What would you do?


Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Why Blog?

Saturday, while I was flying high above the clouds, it was as though God and I were sitting next to each other and I was bursting with thoughts. I've felt for a long time that I need to start putting some of my ideas in writing. This is a bit dangerous; I might reveal a side of me people don't know. At first the idea of blogging was not appealing at all. Why would anyone put their thoughts on the world wide web for everyone to see? It took me months before I even read any blogs. I thought Delilah was plumb off her rocker for being so open with her thoughts. Since I have started reading Jake, Delilah, and Tim's blogs, I have seen what a great opportunity blogging is to express thoughts and get to know each other better. For weeks I've felt compelled to start blogging.

In my "God time" I had on the plane I was overwhelmed by all the ways we have been blessed. Linda and I were on our way back from a few days visiting some very special people in Florida. We reconnected with Linda's aunt who we hadn't seen in in 20 years. Thanks to aunt Nancy (Linda's sister) we discovered Aunt Polly was living in Florida near where we were traveling. It turns out that while we lived in Florida, we were practically neighbors and didn't know. We were not aware how ill aunt Polly was until we got there. She is in an advanced stage of cancer and probably will soon go to be with the Lord. The time we spent with her was real special; it was obvious that our being there really touched her. As I reflected on this I realized the blessing was ours. What a great time we had sharing the past with her, Malinda (her sister), and her children. Her kids did not know who we were nor would we have recognized them. (The last time we saw them they were in third grade.)

This is truly fitting to the title (rambling); don't you think? Well, work is calling me. Can't ramble much longer. This is a little of the background to why I feel compelled to ramble. We have had the good fortune to have a life filled with very special people and have been very negligent in keeping in touch. I feel compelled to share my thoughts for whomever wants to read my ramblings and hope to be a blessing to our kids, grand kids, extended family, friends, and whomever might stumble upon these ramblings. The nice thing about blogging is that no one has to read this, so I will not bore those who do not wish to be bored. If anyone who reads this has anything in particular that you would like me to share, let me know!


Tuesday, March 14, 2006

I have a Job!

I’m a working man! Since I posted last, I’ve been hired, quit, and then hired by someone else. Going to work is a real frustration with me. I’ve enjoyed the past 6 months having Linda working and me staying home and wished it could have continued. It is not that I have not been working; in fact I feel that I have worked very hard around here. But, for the most part, I’ve loved it. Being able to help the kids and grand kids is a real pleasure. I love having the grand kids with me when I work. Yesterday Kellen was a great helper while I was working on the water lines. (We are finally connected to public water but we have leaks,) Lydia was also my side kicks while we were working. Nolan tried to help and walked through a blast of cold water gushing from the water pipe and showed his Miller/Hershberger temper. I could not have done the accomplished the work yesterday without Kellen. He seemed to be real proud of being the man.

More about my working life! About a year ago I registered with the state for civil service jobs. Actually, I was ranked number one the list for a position I tested for but was never called for an interview. About a month ago, while working underneath the double wide, I got called from Lincoln county Department of Human Services about a position as a family support specialist . I had looked into this position once before and felt it would be a position that I would greatly enjoy. It is basically a case management position trying to move families from dependency to independence (or partial). After being interviewed I was quite certain that I would be offered the job. It does the ego some good knowing that someone still wants you.

I started thinking of all the reasons why I should not take this job. It would be a 45 minute drive from the house (of course it takes 20 minutes to get off the ridge, so there is no job closer than 30 minutes). This job is a Monday through Friday 8-5 job (never worked one in my life). I would not have the flexibility to help Eric with his many needs for help. Steph can’t go pick up Eric’s kids; she doesn’t have enough room in her car and dealing with 6 kids ranging from newborn to 10 would be a bit challenging. The pay scale for this job would start at minimum (over $16,000 below the maximum) in spite of my experience in the field. Since I’ve not been working my cholesterol level has dropped to the lowest point since we started checking it (maybe we can stop the build up in the arteries). Being at home, when the pressure mounts I can back off. I had it all figured out, when they call me to offer the job I would just say no.

After playing phone tag for a while ( I wasn’t trying to be very available), Human Services finally reached me. What a glutton for ego massaging I am. I really enjoyed the nice things she told me; how impressed they were at the interview; how I could try it and if I decided it wasn’t for me they would understand; how I could “move up the ladder”; how I could bid for a position closer to home if one opens up. How could I say “no”? What a sucker I am; I said yes! How stupid! There is no way I can do this job and help the kids and grand kids the way I want to. I’ve spent too many years putting work before family (and always justified it). After agonizing for about a week, I finally called and told them I would be unable to take the job. That was hard! I hated it! It would have been so much easier to say no in the first place! Will I ever learn?

I do have another job now! I’ll cover that in my next post! How long will that be? God knows!



Monday, September 25, 2006

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!

It's been a long time! In my last post I said God knows when I'll post again; He knew it would be 6 months but I had no clue. He knows all about us past present and future, so why do we fret about tomorrow? Silly, isn't it?

I see some of the family is slacking on the blogging activity so I guess I'll have to try and pick up some of the slack! I actually was going to blog at midnight the other night while I was in a motel in North Ridgeville, but the hard drive on my laptop crashed GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!, another thing to fix!

Do you know how intimidating it is to have an 8 year old looking over your shoulder while trying to do this. He surely will point out my errors. (I'm baby sitting the grand kids while Steph is taking Viv to the doctors). I hear Nolan "the bruiser" fussing so I may not get this done and it might be another 6 months before I'm on here.

Oh yea, I said I'd tell you about my new job! I am driving truck for an expedited freight delivery service. It doesn't pay much but I really enjoy it. I can gt called anytime day or night and often have to leave right away because someone needs something yesterday. (The name of the company is Yesterday Delivery Services.) I'm not real fond of the 11 p.m. calls after I've put a long day in around here and have to drive 12 hours, but it is interesting how the Lord has given me the strength to stay alert. Put me in the family car and I'm falling asleep before I get to the end of the driveway.

The best part of my job is the flexibility! I can take any days off I need, which allows me to get things done around here or to help with grand kids. It is also a trap because it is easy to find reasons to take time off. I took off one day to build a chicken coop. Figuring the cost of material and lost wages that chicken coop cost us about $300.00. We cherish our eggs since they cost us about $12.00 per dozen if you figure the cost invested. Are we trying to be frugal? Oh well, we never have been good with money. Rather ironic. considering I have a degree in financial planning.

I love the time I have to think while driving truck. I love meeting new people and seeing new places. (I seldom have been at the same place twice.)

Time to run! The troops are all up and going crazy!

God knows when I'll post again!



Saturday, November 18, 2006

Life in the woods

Good Morning Everyone! Just thought maybe I should start jotting down some thoughts. I love living here but it is a lot more hectic than I hoped it would be. What was I thinking? Just because you move to West Virginia things will slow down? Life has a lot more to do with how we manage than our circumstances. Didn't that wise apostle say something about being content no matter what our circumstances?

I feel the pressure of needing to get things done. I started to create a "to do" list and became rather discouraged. We will need to devote a lot more time to the "to do" list if we are going to make any serious impact on it. Or maybe we should just chuck it and just tackle whatever we feel like doing at the time (if we feel like doing anything?)

Of course if I had more energy maybe things would go faster. It seems as though I used to be able to get 10 times as much done in a day as I do now. Of course, then I neglected some of the most important things in life (thought I didn't have time for them). Hmmm I think hanging out with the grand kids is more important than having a new house. What do you think? If I would have spent 1/2 the time with our own kids as I do with the grand kids....well I really can't complain, they turned out great in spite of circumstances. Not perfect but way better than their old man. Of course that is due to the influence of the best woman in the world (their mother). By the way Linda is excelling at work! Last month she was number one in performance among about 160 employees!!!!!

Oh yea, there is the solution! When she moves up the laddder and starts making the big bucks I won't have to work anymore. Having 30-60 more hours per week to work on the "to do " list would make a great difference.

It is starting to get light out. Time to go:
1. put a new exhaust system on the van (should be the last one it has 204000 miles on it)
2. go look at a double wide to move in for Eric
3. take care of the animals
4. pour some foundation at the barn
5. fix Eric's headlight
6. finish putting the swing set together
7. help butcher the deer that Tim and Terry are harvesting this morning
8. Rewire the heat pump on the double wide

Better get going I'm burning day light, I'll add to the list as I go!

See Ya!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

My little girl

I park in the YMCA parking lot when I pick up Jude from school. After allowing the kids and Willow to play at the playground after school, I decided it was time to head home. We crossed the street to get to the parking lot. Avery is lagging a little behind because she has decided to walk in the flower bed (there are no flowers, but there are shrubs and tall metal light poles) I turn to see Avery lifting the metal base of the light pole. I ask her if she is geocaching, she replied "Yes." She's a funny one. Now she knows to look under the metal base's of lights to look for geocaches.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Summer Recap, already?

This summer has went by so fast. I cannot believe that Jude will start first grade and Elise is entering pre-school and I start up classes again in one week. Where did the summer go?

This summer we spent a lot of time outside. We went to Lake Erie to the beach, the zoo, a little geocaching, a lot of garden work, the wading pool, WV, & TN.

We were attempting to go the summer with out turning the a/c on. We caved in yesterday when the temp inside the house reached 86. It is now a cool 78 in the house. I'm hoping that we can turn it back off on Wednesday when the temp is suppose to cool down a little bit. Not to bad making it till August 16 with the air not being on.

Well that's it in a nutshell. I will try to post some pics of summer fun when I get a chance.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Pointing Fingers

Earlier today, Sen. Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-NV, pointed the finger of blame at the press for setting an arbitrary deadline on the health care compromise talks, one that is very likely to go unmet.

Sen. Reid must be thinking that the health care plan will not be passed because he is already blaming the media for setting a deadline for health care negotiations before Congress adjourns for their August break. Hmm.

I found the following quotes on the internet regarding setting a deadline for the health care talks.

The Administration

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “This Window Between Now And The August Recess, I Think, Is Going To Be The Make-Or-Break Period.” “This issue, health care reform, is not a luxury. … So we can't afford to put this off. And the dedicated public servants who are gathered here today understand that and they are ready to get going. And this window between now and the August recess, I think, is going to be the make-or-break period. This is the time where we've got to get this done.” (President Obama, Press Conference, 6/2/09)

· OBAMA: “I Really Want To Get It Done By The August Recess.” Q: “Is it a pretty much a do or die by the August recess?” OBAMA: “I never believe anything is a do or die. But I really want to get it done by the August recess.” (CNN’s “State Of The Union,” 7/12/019)

· OBAMA: “I’ve Told Harry Reid And Nancy Pelosi, You Know, That It Is Critical That We See Serious Forward Motion Before People Leave.” JOHN AMATO, Crooks And Liars Blogger: “… will you then [Congress] make them give us a bill before the August recess?” PRESIDENT OBAMA:“We are working as hard as we can and I've told Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi, you know, that it is critical that we see serious forward motion before people leave. Alright?” (“President Obama’s Conference Call With Liberal Bloggers,” Crooks and Liars, 7/20/09)

VICE PRESIDENT BIDEN: “We Must And We Will Enact Reform By The End Of August, And We Can't Wait. I know that the leaders that are up here know that. The president knows that. My colleagues who I just spoke to know that, and the entire Congress knows it.” (VP Biden, Remarks, 7/8/09)

Democrats In The Senate

SEN. HARRY REID (D-NV): Before We Leave Here … We're Going To Complete The Legislation We Have Dealing With Health Care.” “The question is, do I think the session will be extended in the August recess? We're going to complete -- before we leave here, we're going to do our very best to have a good strong run on DOD. We're going to complete the legislation we have dealing with health care, and we're going to confirm Sonia Sotomayor.” (Sen. Reid, Press Conference, 7/14/09)

· REID: “We must keep our eye on the prize. The prize is health care reform. My desire is to get it done this work period, and I'm going to continue pushing to see everything -- to do everything I can to get it done this work period.” (Sen. Reid, Press Conference, 7/21/09)

SEN. CHUCK SCHUMER (D-NY): We Expect The House And Senate To Have Passed Bills [By August], Yes.” SCHUMER: “Well, we don't expect it to be signed into law by the August recess.” Q: “Understood, but an actual...” SCHUMER: “But we expect the House and Senate to have passed bills, yes.” Q: “You think it's going to happen.” SCHUMER: “I do.” (NBC’s “Meet The Press,” 7/12/09)

Democrats In The House Of Representatives

REP. NANCY PELOSI (D-CA): “We’re Still On Schedule … We Have Plans To Vote For This Legislation Before We Leave For The August Recess.” (“Obama Health Reform: ‘Don’t Bet Against Us,’” The Hill, 7/13/09)

REP. STENY HOYER (D-MD): “We're Going To Pass Significant Reform … Before The August Recess In The House Of Representatives.” Q: “Health care reform -- Congressman Hoyer, will the House pass a bill before the August recess? And what are you going to do about the two biggest problems, which are -- one, increasing coverage, increasing coverage to all of the uninsured without spending another trillion dollars?” HOYER: “Well, first of all, the American people understand that the health care system in this country is in real trouble. They like what they have, about 75 percent of them, but about 87 percent of them think we need significant reform. And the answer to your question is yes, we're going to pass significant reform.” Q: “Before the August recess?” HOYER: “Before the August recess in the House of Representatives, because we need to bring costs down.” (Fox News’ “Fox News Sunday,” 7/5/09)


Now Nancy Pelosi is pointing fingers at the insurance industry because she feels that they have more power than Democrats in Congress. Hello, Pelosi, the Democrats have control of the House and Senate. I view this as an excuse on her end if the Health care bill is not passed.


Health Care: Oppose greater government role. Support free market solutions Health Care: Oppose greater government role. Support free market solutions



The politicians tell us free market health care doesn't work, but we haven't had a free market in decades.

  • The government already pays for nearly half of all health care. This means we're half-socialized already.
  • Starting with depression era wage and price controls, and continuing with government tax policies, the politicians have made Americans dependent on their jobs to get health insurance.
  • State government policies have made insurance too expensive by piling on special interest mandates dictating specific types of coverage.
  • Medicare and Medicaid have fixed the prices we pay for health care, causing the extraordinary paradox of both price inflation and shortages in areas like primary care.

The list of ways the politicians have screwed up our health care system could go on and on, but now the politicians want to exploit the crisis they created by taking over even more control of our medical care. This will only make things worse, and once we let them do it we may never be able to change it.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Happy Birthday Avery girl




It's hard to believe that my Avery girl turns 2 today. She has grown up so fast. I often describe her with one word, "rotten". She is a rotten little girl. She gets this look in her eyes and you know right away that she is up to no good, or has planning to do something that she knows that she shouldn't do. She is her own girl. She is not afraid to join in the mix when Jude and I are wrestling around. Avery is a shoe and purse girl. And she loves her baby dolls. You will find her putting on Delilah's shoes just about every day. Even though she loves her shoes and purses she also loves sports. When Jude and Elise were playing soccer, she wanted to go and kick the ball with her. We bought her a little soccer ball to kick around so she would leave Jude's and Elise's alone. Just recently, Jude went to and Upward's basketball camp, he got a basketball for going, Avery has confiscated the basketball since then. Like I said, she is rotten. Happy Birthday Avery girl.